I've learn to let go.

Random memory.

So this random memont just poped up in my head.

It was when Zellie would sleepover like everyday, she like lived her all december.

We were ordering stuff online, because she had a gift card. and when they asked for a name she put in “A gift for you” And at end it was like “Thank you, A gift for you” And we laughed all night long about it.

Hello dear world, Its getting better.

shyt its ginuh (8:01:28 PM): I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH BABYCAKES.

im a sexy pasta (8:01:38 PM): I FEEL

im a sexy pasta (8:01:39 PM): SO

im a sexy pasta (8:01:42 PM): SPECIAL

im a sexy pasta (8:01:45 PM<33

shyt its ginuh (8:01:54 PM): You are very special

shyt its ginuh (8:02:14 PM): Most special person in my life.

im a sexy pasta (8:05:37 PM): [:

im a sexy pasta (8:05:45 PM): you are the most importantest thing in my life

shyt its ginuh (8:07:53 PM): Awh, i feel so loved

 shyt its ginuh (8:08:09 PM): You make me smile real hard X]

im a sexy pasta (8:08:50 PM): [:

im a sexy pasta (8:11:54 PM): blog about it.

Howard makes me smile like i’ve never have. Like I’ve explained up there ^^^^^ I love you forever and always I hope this lasts forever, This is just the beginnning but, I hope we have an happy ending like everyother fairy tale [: I love you babycakes. You make me super happy. Happy-er than I’ve ever been since 1999 ? oh my god pretty long time ?. Dearest mom, I’ll like you to meet my boyfriend Howard Lee. AH, watch over me loove you muchos

JANUARY 20, 2009.

So, I didnt do any work, at school. Instend I felt like writting in my Journal.

“ONCE in a lifetime you find that one person that you can feel is right for you, but you just want to sink into depression because at any chance it could be taken away from you or it could be altered in some strange way.. I’ve finally found that one amazing man who..completes me in a way I couldn’t even stand to believe and all it is…is false. It’s a fake world in a fake society created by thirteen and fourteen years olds without passion without being about to understand their god-given capacity for love, partnership, trust, loyalty, and twin guidance. His thoughts are constantly on my mind even when I go to sleep…when I’m eating- I know it sounds crazy but it’s absolutely true. I sit there and chew my meal wondering what he may be doing that exact moment in time as I sit there. When we smile at each other my heart races beyond any speed acceptable to man and I can’t control it and much more, I can’t help it. It takes a special man to deal with me; it takes an independent man to deal with me; a strong willed man with the mindset of an experienced adult with soft hands that could handle and please a woman beyond her wildest dreams. Treating her like a princess is only the first step, this man engages her emotions in a way that surprises her spirit her soul right down to her bones, making them shake violently with ecstacy and amour. It’s something I can’t put my finger on, but I can feel ever so strongly through every thought and emotion that I have. Can I live without this feeling? In the beginning, I could have and I still can, but my life sure would be empty and incomplete. Loving someone sure does complete a life; I agree and I’ve already met him January 12, 2009; he asked me out for the first time . AND NO DO NOT TAKE OR COPY MY DEDICATION”

Pretty tight like Howard says, I think im “pro” at this crap.

January 12, 2009. <3

Dear Howard, Well, I’ve got a lot to say to you. But, I can’t really express it in any other way. So like, I’m pretty sure it’s obvious that many people know that we’re both going out as boyfriend and girlfriend. But, there’s a lot more to it. I’m in love with you! Like, when I say “love”, I don’t mean it as a simple boy/girl crush. I mean like, I’m seriously in LOVE with you. You’re the only one I could ever want AND more. To me, you’re like perfect and I couldn’t have it any other way. You don’t have to change a thing about you to make me love you any more than I already could. But yeah, I’m like effing in love with you. No kidding, I’m like serious. I love you more than I could ever love anything or anyone else in the universe. Words can’t really express how much I love you, but I feel this is the only way you can get the slightest idea about how much love I have for you. You’ve truly made me more happier than I’ve ever been before. And I’m sure I do the same for you because we’re like truly, madly, deeply in love. And nothing will ever stop us from loving each other; whether it’s other people, distance, school, whatever. There’s not a chance that we’ll ever stop loving each other ‘cause I’m just more in love with you than ever. And I always will be. Forever, I promise. ^^This insane feeling came to my head. I just that to write/type it down.

DAANNNNNG !

ANGELINA DANG WAS HERE (: LOOOOVE YA’ J1909 2:10AM

I love you my darling sunshine.

This morning wasnt so great I felt like dieing. But anyways, I only got 2 and a half hours of sleep. Pretty weird right ?, Well It was for a good reason. I was up all night talking to Howard Lee it was pretty cool. I actually sang this hottie to sleep. Funny right ?, anyways I couldnt sleep one tad bit. Because HOWARD was so loud on the phone. Howard I think you breathe really hard in your sleep, but its all good its cute [: So this morning I woke up around like 7 ish ? Yeah. Got on the computer talked to Howard :]. Then liked my grandpa bitced at my the coldest it seemed like he was a Old Cranky guy on his period. O_O yeah. We fought in the car. And I yelled at him, wasnt really nice. I got pissed. Told him to drop me off where we were. I walked from there on to school. Yeah it was kind of cold. I wanted to call someone while I was walking to Aki but I didnt. School was the WORST in the morning. I had cramps. I was walking up the stairs to 3rd period didnt feel really good. After I got up, I almost fainted. Good thing Demario caught me in time. When I got to 3rd period class I sat on the ground. And cried and began the teacher to go to the nurse. He let me, I went the nurse said I was on my period and I checked. Yeah.. And I took some mechine. Still hurted alot. But it all went away in 4th period because I was crazy-er than ever in 4th period ! Yeah 5th wasnt all that great. 6th was kind of emotional. 7th was retarded. 8th was maybe the best period at the end of the day. I almost fucking stabbed someone. Because someone didnt know what I was thinking -coughs HOWARD. kidding I loveyou sunshine. He finally used his head and told me that we should date? and he asked me which was very fansatic? Idk how to spell it sorry. Yeah. I was very elated. Then I stood in the fuckking rain for like 15 minutes waitting for my grandpa. Then he came. Got home ate, shower, homework. Yeah now this. 1122009<3

YEAH, DONDE ESTA MI PANTILONES ?

YOU LEFT ME.

I cant blog at this time, Im about to go to sleep. Ill blog tmmr :)

I dont want you, I need you.

Your a darn person I need here in my life.

My love for you is Unconditional.

I fucking love you.